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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?